Chicken Soup for the Soul

Today was my first social outing since the surgery. It's taken 9 days to feel ready, which blows my mind that it's already been that long. I'm so grateful I have another week off from work because I really could not imagine going back this coming week.

I met Chris and her son at the shore and her and Bill went for a run while I sat by the water. Just sitting outside and getting some sea air felt wonderful. When they were done we went out for breakfast. It was SO what I needed. Chris said she can already see a big difference. My perspective is so skewed because I feel bulky from the binder and dressings underneath. I'm flat but I'm swollen. I have no shape still because the skin down to my belly button is stretched so tight it's flat but not in the flat-you-can-see-ab-muscles way, just flat until the skin forgives me enough to start molding back into a shape.

We had a great time, albeit too short as it always seems to be when we get together. Sitting outside on a beautiful day (the last for a few days with the hurricane coming) eating a great breakfast with my dear friend, her adorable son, and my great husband made me feel like "Okay, life is getting back to normal. Things are going to be fine." It was a fantastic feeling. Something that 9 days of pain, anxiety, sleeplessness, depression, and doubt made me appreciate all the more.

And, being the amazing person she is, she brought me home-made chicken soup which was INCREDIBLE and so thoughtful. I felt so loved. It was a great, GREAT morning.

After that B began hurricane preparations. For the most part I'm not worried about the storm but then I see that scary satellite picture and wonder how bad it's going to be. I'm on a hill so I don't expect flooding but I am surrounded by tons and tons of trees. What can I do though? If something is going to happen it's going to happen. B took out all our patio furniture and I hope he knows it's going right back after the storm because the best days of sitting on the deck are yet to come in September and October. The deck looks so empty!



We went to Walmart and that outing wasn't nearly as satisfying as the morning. I get really, really tired by mid-day. You can tell just by how I walk, I'm more upright in the morning, I'm practically hunched over by mid-day. I also try to take just 2 pills for pain now, one when I get up and one around 6 when the burning feeling sets in. We got some provisions and Walmart was amazingly organized and calm. They had carts filled with flashlights and propane tanks at the front of the store with employees manning them so there wasn't a mob of people walking off with all the stuff people were there for. After that I took a 2+ hour nap. Drained.

Today being such a great day I am starting to feel that excitement about getting this done before I actually did get it done and questioned myself every day after. I haven't dared to try on real clothes yet, I know they won't fit right because of the swelling and the binder. I don't know if I will have lost a size or what but I am hopeful that fall shopping will be different this year. I'm hoping to be able to wear things I wouldn't have before with the gut always in the way. Even though my big b-day fete is 6 weeks away it's NEVER too early to look for just the right outfit. ;) I lurve this dress so I ordered it. If the swelling is down by then I'm thinking I may be able to pull it off. We'll see!