T minus...

It's here. Well, almost. We're all leaving tomorrow for the Mudder. I feel like I should be more nervous but right now I'm keeping it in check. There's a much different feeling going into this than the marathon. I can't quite pinpoint it but I felt like there was an innate air of respect around the marathon, you had to respect the distance before you could attempt to attempt it. This is so different. I mean, come on, they are spraying us with snow-making hoses while we're on a tightrope and then shocking us with electric wires with the finish line in sight. How do you prepare for that? You don't. You just go into it, grit your teeth, and laugh about it after.

That said, I feel like the Mudder will be so much harder than the marathon. I remember starting the marathon (how could I not, it was the iconic Verrazano Bridge!) and then it was kind of a blur until the 8-mile mark. When I was in my running groove the miles thankfully ticked by. But with the Mudder: I don't think there will be a foot of that mountain or an obstacle that I'll just be able to zone out and forget about. I'm going to need to be mentally engaged as much as physically.

The marathon was such a solitary event for me. I trained alone and I ran alone. One of the things that will always stay with me was how I passed 2 million spectators (NYC's estimate) and still be alone. But I wouldn't have wanted it any other way, it was a solemn, serious quest for me. I crossed the finish line alone and cried by myself when I got my medal. I was fine with that. I don't think I could have shared that moment with anyone, even my husband.

The Mudder though -- completely different. I'm on a team. We are dependent on each other to get to the finish line. There are obstacles, like the 18-foot Evel Knevel, where it is literally impossible to do without help: someone to push up up and someone to pull you over. All this time I've doubted what my contribution could be with helping my teammates but my shoulders are strong, I can handle someone standing on them to get over the wall. What I'm not used to is accepting the help. I'm going to have to accept a hand (or some shoulders) and not feel like I'm imposing on someone or making someone else compensate for my weakness. The Mudder was designed to develop camaraderie. At the beginning you have to raise your hand and swear to leave no man behind. Xfit has shown me what it's like to have support until the last rep, the last meter of a run. This will be like a 3+ hour super WOD where we see each other to the end.

I'm so glad we're staying together as a team on Saturday night. We're going to have a lot to celebrate.