Don't be afraid to be elite

This post is going to come off as elitist but I don't care. It's my blog. It's my life. I have to be accountable to myself.

I hate treadmills. I think they should be a last resort, not a way of life. They fuck up your gait, they don't replicate real-life running conditions, and they are boring as shit. In fact, just today I was reading an old issue of Runner's World and found this quote about treadmills:

When runners first move to the pavement after months of hibernating indoors on the 'mill, they're in for a shock. Treadmills help you run because the machine provides the forward motion. When you run outside, you have to push against the solid ground, which requires more energy and puts a different stress on your ankles, feet, and legs.

I know this to be absolutely true because I can run 8 miles on the treadmill and I don't feel nearly as fatigued as 6 outside when I'm contending with wind, pavement resistance, and elevation changes.

The treadmill is a necessary evil, I get that. And when I started running this time around, I was perfectly happy in my basement where no one could see me. I thought I was doing pretty well, too. Then I got a nice smack of reality when I left the security of the treadmill to do my first 5K since 2003 (the same one I'm doing next week). It felt like I was running in sand because I had to propel myself forward. There is a gradual, long hill in the first mile that almost took me out because I hadn't experienced that. There's a shorter, steeper hill in the middle of the race that made me feel like I was going to die. And I had gotten up to doing 5 or 6 miles on the treadmill at the time, 3.1 should have been cake. It wasn't. It sucked. But it was after that when I really pushed myself to run outside as much as I can. That spring I ran through mud, ran in the rain, ran up hills and down them, ran in the heat, ran in the cold, I ran until I felt like I was a runner.

As I said, I'm not in my own home this week. I've been going to another Xfit. I haven't been able to run until late in the evening because I'm here to take care of my cousin so when 7 or 8 pm would roll around, the treadmill was the best option. Today I ran at lunch and I figured what's one more run on the treadmill? You know what it was? One run too many. It's POURING today. It's cold. And raw. And windy as hell. If I were to do a 5-mile course, the hills would look like this (I did this back in November when I stayed here):



I could have gone out there. I chose not to. So there I was, cruising along, having a decent run on the treadmill and I accidentally snagged the emergency stop cord and it stopped. I didn't know what happened at first but as soon as I figured it out I started screaming and swearing. I punched the console. I threw my water bottle across the room. I was an animal. If I were in a gym I would have been asked to leave and never come back it was that bad. It's not like I was in the qualifers for the Olympics or anything, it was supposed to be a shitty 5-mile run on the treadmill. I was just so ANGRY about it.

A few take-homes for me. One, my outburst was good in that it made me realize how intense and committed I am to my workouts. Two, my outburst was inexcusable. If I were a real athlete, I would never have been so out of control. Three, every workout counts and it's up to me to make them count for all I can.

If I had gone outside and run it might have gone even worse. The wind, the rain, and the hills might have taken me out by the 3rd mile. But at least I would have tried. Elite athletes aren't afraid of some rain or wind. They get out there and they put it on the line because they have a goal to be the very best they can. Failing because of a goddamned emergency stop is unacceptable to me. Even though I started up the treadmill again and I probably ended up with over 6 miles because I was so pissed off about the whole thing, the reason I run -- the high -- was taken away from me.

So my point in this blog entry is not to say how fabulous I am because I'd rather run up a 10% grade hill than be on a treadmill, it's to say: don't be afraid to be elite. Your workouts are your time,if you're going to do it you might as well get the most out of it. When you fail (and you will), fail because it was you, not because of something beyond your control. Then dust yourself off and try it again.

Don't be afraid to be elite.

Don't wish...

I did my second WOD at my "away" Xfit today. The intensity level is insanely high there. I think part of it has to do with the fact that they've been around for 2 years so they are at another place with their athleticism and attitude. They are also over 300 members vs our 75 and the energy feeds off every one who enters the box. I didn't realize how much I already feel like part of a family at my Xfit until I became a guest at the table of another. But, like I said, it's good to get outside your comfort zone. See what you can aspire to, take an honest assessment of your weaknesses.

I love this quote from my new Xfit shirt (the front is pretty bitchin' too, see below). I'd say to take it one step further though. Don't just wish you were better, make yourself better. Work at it. Fail. And then work at it some more. Tonight I could have worked at it harder, I know that. One of the exercises in the WOD was box jumps. I hate them. Not because I can't do them, it's because I'm afraid of taking a digger. So I didn't use the size box I should have and now I regret it. I took a practice jump on it and I didn't stumble. But I didn't trust myself to do it 100 times without falling so I went down to the smaller box (although I did put a 45 lb plate on it to add 2 inches).

So while I worked on my not-as-hard-as-I-should-have-done workout, there were some guys practicing muscle ups on the bars. Those guys fell over and over again trying to get it (a muscle up in Xfit is pretty much saying "I'm GOD-like, worship me"). I don't mean they just dropped from the rings, they fell to the mat in a heap. When our workout was over I heard a yell and some screaming and I looked over and saw one of the guys got in his first muscle up. I don't know how many times he tried, I don't know that tonight was his first attempt. I do know that he didn't let every time he fell stop him from trying. It inspired me.

I wish I was more agile that I could do box jumps on the 30" one like some of the other athletes. That doesn't come naturally to me. I can wish I was like a bunny hopping up and down all I want but it comes down to taking a risk and taking on the 20, then the 24, and -- maybe someday -- the 30. It will more than likely mean falling on my face at some point. That's the decision I need to make though, if I want to get to that next level, I can't wish it was easier, I have to work to be better. With running. With Xfit. With anything that matters.

While I ponder that for my next WOD, I have this for inspiration.

Comfort Zone

I'm going to migrate to a new blog, one that isn't NYC specific. I miss blogging. I think I want to make it more well rounded though. Still about fitness, still about the struggle to live up to my potential, but in a more gestalt way (nice word, huh?).

Today I did something I don't think I could have done a year ago. I'm staying at my aunt's (while someone stays at my house, it's like house swap) and so I'm not in my regular place for running and Crossfit. Situations like this in the past have not turned out well for me. I don't naturally like being outside my comfort zone. So, rather than try a new situation, I would do nothing. This time I was determined not to let that happen. I went to a Crossfit in the town where I'm staying. It wasn't my place, it wasn't my peeps, and I had just read their blog the day before that was all about programming for the top 5% -- meaning, yes, people complain their Xfit is too hard but it's supposed to be, they design their workouts for the top 5% of athletes. I thought: GREAT! I'm SO excited about going now! :{

To put added pressure on myself, I set up a time to go with a girl I went to grade school with. I knew she worked out there and we keep in touch on FB but I haven't seen her since the HS reunion over a year ago. She's an amazing athlete in top shape. Not only did I have reason to be intimidated by the facility, I picked a superior athlete to workout with.

It snowed last night. I thought about texting her and canceling. But if this year has taught me anything it's that you can't move to the next level if you don't put yourself out there. That applied with running when I finally left the security of my treadmill and took to the streets and trails. It was hard, it knocked me down a few pegs, but I fought back and emerged as a stronger, faster, more confident runner. I can take on steep hills, I can take on powerful headwinds. There are no conditions I haven't run in over the last year. I realized this morning when I was dreading going to Xfit that I need to apply that courage to this endeavor too.

So I went. The WOD was insanely hard. It was actually funny because one of the exercises was walking lunges holding a weighted plate (my favorite -- not) across the room and back, once at the beginning of the WOD, again at the end. I looked at the room and thought, well, this isn't so bad. It's just a little bigger than my Xfit. Then everyone disappeared out a door. My friend called me over and I found myself inside a huge warehouse, the size of a football field! It was across THAT room we had to go back and forth. Twice.

There were also 2 moves in the WOD I wasn't familiar with: ring dips and knee to elbow. One is when you use rings (like in male gymnastics) and do tricep dips. They're super hard because you aren't stable so it's not only the workload on the tricep, it's holding yourself steady to be able to complete the motion. Knees to elbows is where you swing on the pullup bar and pull your knees up to your elbows, like doing crunches in the air. Yeah. Not easy either.

I saw 2 people quit today during the WOD. If my friend wasn't there, I might have, too. But she coached me on to finish and I am so grateful for that. It wasn't only a huge accomplishment to get through that WOD: a total of 63 pullups, 63 ring dips, 30 knee to elbow, 45 back squats, and 200 feet of walking lunges, it was a mental victory that I put myself in a situation I wasn't comfortable with and I did it.

I was shaking so badly after that I almost missed a step leaving the place because I didn't have very good control over my legs. I'm sure I will be sore as hell tomorrow when I go running (again, not in my comfort zone) but guess what? I'm hoping to get back there Wednesday, too. I know it will be hard, I know there will be more movements I haven't done yet. I know there will be superior athletes who have been at this for close to 2 years and it shows. But I'm going to hang in there because I won't get to where they are unless I put myself out there.

The comfort zone. You just have to leave it sometimes. Some great things await you on the outside.

Blah, blah, bloggidty, blah

I'm going on a little blog respite, I think. It's the same stuff all the time: Cross Fit was hard, running was hard, here's how far I went, how fast, how slow, whatever. No one cares. Not even me. I think part of it is the winter blahs. Part of it is that nothing is really going on right now. I have some races coming up and maybe that will be more exciting to think about and write about. I could start blogging about my personal life but I don't know that that's any more interesting. It would basically be: hating my job, the hell of chronic insomnia, purses, nail polish, buying more yarn than I can possibly knit in my lifetime, the occasional good book, bad reality tv -- see? Nothing worth writing about there, either.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that I'm at this boring point in my fitness where it's everything is routine. I'm getting my miles in, I'm pushing myself to run faster. I'm making progress in Cross Fit. It's good that every run I do isn't a news flash. Last year it was and I'm glad I had this outlet to share my victories, even if it was only with myself. I'm still going to track my runs in daily mile only to keep tabs on mileage and pace but unless something exceptional happens, I'm not going to take up interwebs space here.

So I'll give the deets of the last few days as a last hurrah.

Friday night at CF was ridiculous. It was an AMRAP for 20 minutes that sounded so easy: 7 burpees, 10 walking lunges holding a weight plate overhead, 7 back squats, 10 walking lunges with the plate. That was one round. I thought, oh, it's only 7 burpees at time, how bad can it be? It's a rough WOD when burpees are the "break." The walking lunges were deadly. I'm still in pain 2 days later. I got in 6.5 rounds in the 20 minutes. So that's 120 walking lunges, 42 back squats, and 49 burpees. Gawd.

Saturday I ran on the dreadmill, 5.33 miles in 52 minutes. My pace was 9:45/mile.

Today I finally got outside and went to OS. I did 8.14 miles and my pace was 9:46/mile which was really good because I did 8 minute running/2 minute walking intervals the whole time since my knee was feeling tight from all those GD walking lunges and squats. So when I was running today, I was REALLY running. My splits are good:



That 7th mile was high because I went down a road that was completely flooded. I had the choice of plowing through the water (and having soaking feet for the rest of my run) or plod through the foot-high snow on the side of the road. I chose the snow so I had to pick up my knees like I was doing a tire obstacle course. There's a tire section in the Tough Mudder so it was good practice and kind of fun.

Otherwise, a solid run and, as I hoped, I shaved a few seconds off my time on this course from 3 weeks ago. Next week I'll do 9, then 10 and hope to do the same.

And that's that. I run. I eat. I go to Cross fit. I eat. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Anyone who checks in every now and then, I appreciate you staying with me.

Moving on Up!

I don't usually go to Cross Fit on Thursdays but because I couldn't go on Monday and didn't go last night I felt like I really needed to go. I'm so glad I did. Running is great and if I didn't get those workouts in I'd feel just as lousy. But there is something so therapeutic about thrusting a giant barbell above your head over and over again.

After the regular warmup we did some dynamic stretching (which I really love when she adds that, it's so good) and some insane ab work. Part of it was making snow angels on the floor without your limbs actually touching the mat. I think that's going to be one of those that I feel tomorrow pretty hard.

The WOD was 20 minutes AMRAP:

30 box jumps
20 push press
30 pullups

I had decided on my way there that since it's been a month at Cross Fit and even though I didn't get there as many times as I would have liked with all the storms this month that I was going to go up from the baby box to the medium one. When we were lined up waiting for the countdown to start the workout I felt a little sick. I was sure I'd fall flat on my face. I'm not agile like that. But I did it! I only came close to stumbling once, the rest of my jumps were clean and solid. I got in 2 full rounds of the box jumps, 3 full rounds of the push presses (65 lb barbell) and 2.5 rounds of pullups. It was a solid workout and I feel like I'm making progress there, not only by going heavier or jumping higher but also for getting past my fears. I was afraid of the wall climb and now I can do it. I was afraid of the higher box and tonight I did it. For me, Cross Fit is as much about testing myself mentally as it is physically.

Now that I'm in my second month of Cross Fit, I'm looking forward to seeing how far I can progress this month.

I've finally snapped

Those snow banks lining the driveway? As tall as me. I'm 5'5". The ones near the garage? Taller than my husband. He's 6 feet. It is like driving through a cave. Thank goodness for plows is all I can say. Our driveway is long and there's a little turnaround part that you can't see because of the snow piles. We'd never be able to do keep up with it. I was so happy to see the plow today. Even though there wasn't a lot accumulation there was so much slush and crap that will freeze and make it a true disaster out there. He didn't get right down to the pavement but he got a lot of it up. He's running out of places to push it though. This winter. It's incredible.

No Xfit again today. I stayed home from work and I'm not going down to OS just for Xfit. I ran again today instead doing my weekly fartlek workout. I hate this workout when I start it, when I'm done I'm elated. It's working though. I am feeling more and more comfortable in those high-range intervals. How this will all translate onto the street (when there is a street) remains to be seen but I do know I'm pushing harder on the treadmill than I ever have been able to do before. I got in 6.33 miles in 60 minutes, an overall pace of 9:28/mile. I'm thrilled with that since it includes 10 minutes of gradual warmup and 2 minutes of cooldown.

I didn't fall asleep until well after 3 am last night. How I'm able to function at all and keep up with running is beyond me. I'm headed for a crash if I don't get on a regular sleep schedule soon. No more red wine for me at night. Red wine makes everyone else in the world tired. For me, it's like drinking Red Bull. I get all amped up, my heart rate goes up. Not good. I'll go back to my Sleepytime Extra tea (with valerian, which the urban myth says is like valium). I can't live like this any more.

Go, Gail, GO!!!!!

Gail slithered her way past the first 100-mile mark today. Go, Gail! Gail is kind of a super mutant snail because despite being anatomically predisposed to being slower than her turtle counterpart from 2010, she is about 22 days ahead of where he was last year. If Gail can keep it up and not get injured, she should have no problem sliming her way to that 1000-mile finish line. :)

Great run today. I decided to do long intervals, 8 minutes running/2 minutes walking. It ended up being exactly what I needed. Once I got past the first 10 minutes of warming up, all my intervals were progressively faster and all below 10 min/mile. My last interval was below 9 min/mile.

My overall pace was 10:11 min/mile which is excellent considering 14 minutes out of the 72 was walking. And since I had those nice walk breaks I felt like I could go longer without killing myself which is why I went past the hour. I was feeling good.

I'm going to work this kind of treadmill workout into my routine once a week as long as I'm dependent on the treadmill for awhile. I really miss my running routes with hillwork (I can't believe I just said that). Remind of that in the Spring when it's getting hot, humid, and buggy.

Missed CF last night because my hairdresser called to move up my appt since today and tomorrow are shot from the weather. I will try to get there tomorrow but if it doesn't happen I can't fight Mother Nature.