Don't be afraid to be elite

This post is going to come off as elitist but I don't care. It's my blog. It's my life. I have to be accountable to myself.

I hate treadmills. I think they should be a last resort, not a way of life. They fuck up your gait, they don't replicate real-life running conditions, and they are boring as shit. In fact, just today I was reading an old issue of Runner's World and found this quote about treadmills:

When runners first move to the pavement after months of hibernating indoors on the 'mill, they're in for a shock. Treadmills help you run because the machine provides the forward motion. When you run outside, you have to push against the solid ground, which requires more energy and puts a different stress on your ankles, feet, and legs.

I know this to be absolutely true because I can run 8 miles on the treadmill and I don't feel nearly as fatigued as 6 outside when I'm contending with wind, pavement resistance, and elevation changes.

The treadmill is a necessary evil, I get that. And when I started running this time around, I was perfectly happy in my basement where no one could see me. I thought I was doing pretty well, too. Then I got a nice smack of reality when I left the security of the treadmill to do my first 5K since 2003 (the same one I'm doing next week). It felt like I was running in sand because I had to propel myself forward. There is a gradual, long hill in the first mile that almost took me out because I hadn't experienced that. There's a shorter, steeper hill in the middle of the race that made me feel like I was going to die. And I had gotten up to doing 5 or 6 miles on the treadmill at the time, 3.1 should have been cake. It wasn't. It sucked. But it was after that when I really pushed myself to run outside as much as I can. That spring I ran through mud, ran in the rain, ran up hills and down them, ran in the heat, ran in the cold, I ran until I felt like I was a runner.

As I said, I'm not in my own home this week. I've been going to another Xfit. I haven't been able to run until late in the evening because I'm here to take care of my cousin so when 7 or 8 pm would roll around, the treadmill was the best option. Today I ran at lunch and I figured what's one more run on the treadmill? You know what it was? One run too many. It's POURING today. It's cold. And raw. And windy as hell. If I were to do a 5-mile course, the hills would look like this (I did this back in November when I stayed here):



I could have gone out there. I chose not to. So there I was, cruising along, having a decent run on the treadmill and I accidentally snagged the emergency stop cord and it stopped. I didn't know what happened at first but as soon as I figured it out I started screaming and swearing. I punched the console. I threw my water bottle across the room. I was an animal. If I were in a gym I would have been asked to leave and never come back it was that bad. It's not like I was in the qualifers for the Olympics or anything, it was supposed to be a shitty 5-mile run on the treadmill. I was just so ANGRY about it.

A few take-homes for me. One, my outburst was good in that it made me realize how intense and committed I am to my workouts. Two, my outburst was inexcusable. If I were a real athlete, I would never have been so out of control. Three, every workout counts and it's up to me to make them count for all I can.

If I had gone outside and run it might have gone even worse. The wind, the rain, and the hills might have taken me out by the 3rd mile. But at least I would have tried. Elite athletes aren't afraid of some rain or wind. They get out there and they put it on the line because they have a goal to be the very best they can. Failing because of a goddamned emergency stop is unacceptable to me. Even though I started up the treadmill again and I probably ended up with over 6 miles because I was so pissed off about the whole thing, the reason I run -- the high -- was taken away from me.

So my point in this blog entry is not to say how fabulous I am because I'd rather run up a 10% grade hill than be on a treadmill, it's to say: don't be afraid to be elite. Your workouts are your time,if you're going to do it you might as well get the most out of it. When you fail (and you will), fail because it was you, not because of something beyond your control. Then dust yourself off and try it again.

Don't be afraid to be elite.